Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Oh Megan...

Hide my ass, doesn't work *that* well and it doesn't work at all when you're checking from your iPhone lol. You know, if you want to know about me so badly... you could always ask me.

You could have treated me better when I was married to your brother. You could have treated him better his whole life. You could get over yourself and realize how much you fuck up the lives of those who meet you. Poor Christy, never saw you coming when you stole her husband from her.

I would ask if it's painful for you to read that, but I know you're heartless. Hell, if it wasn't for your mom and your parents money, you'd have no one and nothing. Kind of sad.

No worries. I still love ya! Kisses! Oh, and give your mommy kisses for me too. <3 Oh, here is a reference book for your future surgery choices. Hope it helps!

3 comments:

  1. I support this post 100%, and to my ex-family (I consider myself an orphan) revel in the end result of your selfish, petty, and stubborn behaviors that pushed her where you always wanted her, away from me. Many times, completely distraught, crying, panicked, I pleaded and begged you not to exclude my wife the way you did. But you did not care, you couldn't stand that I ran away from you and was so happy with her. You crushed my whole world, you destroyed everything I ever truly loved, you killed the only thing I was sure of, the one thing I searched for so long to find. You didn't care how in love we were, how much we adored each other, how incredibly uncommon our bond was, she wasn't what you wanted for me, and you made it WELL known every single time we needed any kind of help and had to lean on you. You acted like borrowing money to us gave you the right to belittle, pass judgement, and be flat out cruel to my wife. Job well done, you got what you wanted, she's gone. But so am I, because before things snowballed with the divorce, YOU ignored the simplest of requests, you didn't like her and couldn't be bothered with making her feel welcome, you couldn't even go grocery shopping with her, you were always too busy. But you had plenty of time to gossip and talk shit about her behind her back, while lying to her face. You were too old, too lazy, too controlling, too busy, selfish, petty, hypocritical, stubborn, malicious, and jealous little bitches, and pissed on the one thing that made me truly happy to be alive. It has been 2 years, and NO, it has not gotten easier, I am in constant agony over losing her, agony over what my family put her through, agony over the things I let you beat into me and how I let you manipulate me into doing your will through my divorce, because that will never go away, I can never repair that damage, and it fucking hurts every moment of every day, watching her rebuild hers and the kids lives through the extra hardships we have caused for her and them. My broken heart, shattered dreams, and complete hopelessness comes from YOU, not her, and if it weren't for her, I'd have killed myself to escape this nightmare a long time ago, but it is her compassion that has intervened. I owe her my life, and I'll spend the rest of my life loving, caring, and helping her no matter where she is in life, because she deserves nothing less.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow Phenson. I'm sorry I couldn't just let them "die" like you asked a million times and still ask.

    They're unfortunately still the blood of our blood, and I can only hope that at some point, that matters to them. I hate to see how sad it makes Emma.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'd tell you not to be sorry, like usual, but instead I'll say I forgive you Michele, always and forever (though you still didnt do anything wrong, I don't expect you to just forget and not be affected by the damage caused).

    I'm sorry, I'm sorry I failed us as a husband and a father, I'm sorry we had to turn to them ever, I'm sorry that you just trying to be a good wife by encouraging me to have any kind of contact with them over the years ended up like it did, it wasnt your fault. I'm sorry you had to go through everything you did, even writing a letter to them, taking blame for things you werent even responsible for, as an attempt to make things better with my family. I'm sorry for everything, for not being stronger, for letting my own pain cloud my mind and judgement, for taking off with Emma to buy time for you to be served, for the thousands it cost, for the stress and turmoil, costing you your job to rescue Emma, it wasnt supposed to happen like that, it wasnt supposed to be what they wanted, but I gave up and dared it because I knew Emma belonged with you and her real family, I told myself even if I "won", I wouldnt keep her with me, everyone knew I didnt want child support, they knew I wanted to move closer to the kids, because saying I wanted to move closer to you and the kids got everything thrown in my face by them, "she doesnt love you", ok whatever but they couldnt argue with wanting to be by the kids, no wait, they did, they said they werent mine, werent my concern, I shouldnt move back to MN because of that. I'm sorry for invading your privacy, i'm sorry for the snooping and spying, and for involving them in your personal life. I still stand by why I was looking, and that, shitty as it is, was how I knew what was right and what was wrong, it was horribly invasive and I'll never be able to make amends, but there was a lot that, even though it hurt, had nothing to do with the case, and as things got more heated and I could start to see more and more where my family was wrong and exaggerating and fucking up everything, the more personal shit I burried and kept from everyone, ultimately dropping the case because it was wrong to pursue it, I had seen enough to prove for sure that the basis of the case was unfounded, at that point I didnt care what they thought, what you thought, what Jim, friends or families thought, all that mattered was I found what I needed in order to be confident that stopping everything was the right thing. I wanted the truth, because I knew I loved you enough to handle things properly, nobody else could do it right. Lawyers say go for this and that, friends and family have their strong oppinions, but ultimately I wanted you to see that I loved you enough to know you were better off somewhere else, with whoever you wanted, that I knew how much the kids mean to you and vice versa, and never wanted to hurt that, but that got muddied, my actions hurt a lot of people, and I truly am sorry, I cant ever repair the damage caused, trust broken, money wasted, I am haunted every day and night by it, especially for leaving you to fend for yourself at the airport, I screamed and yelled at my family and lawyers for their ultimatums if I didnt, but I am still guilty of it, for that and so much more, I am deeply sorry, it was wrong regardless of intentions, and I hope someday you can forgive me.

    ReplyDelete