Sheesh

Pregnancy and therapy really slow a girl down, if on nothing more than her blogging...  and every day life! Although I am more inclined to blame the pregnancy. I am SO dang tired all the time.

I do however have a worth while update today! I have a picture of 8 scarves that I have crocheted that are ready to be donated! I have a 9th and 10th almost done, but since it is so cold out already I am going to donate the 8 I have ready to go sooner rather than later.

Scarves, multiple sizes and colors ready to be donated.

Once again my thanks to the wonderful person who donated money for so much yarn! I hope to be able to get at least 5 more scarves out of what I had. The adult size ones take a lot more yarn than the kid's scarves do, so I have a ratio of about 2 to 1 on those. So, 25 dollars donated and I believe I will be able to make at least 15 scarves! If there is enough left over I am going to attempt to crochet a hat or two as well. Wish me luck!

Pregnancy and Anxiety... oh my!

I am so determined to get beyond the anxiety and have a healthy happy, stress free (wishful thinking I'm sure) pregnancy. I am attending therapy, I am crocheting like it is going out of style, I am doing the Qigong I have learned in therapy and also the acupressure tapping techniques I've learned... but I still feel something is lacking.

I really, really, really want a prenatal yoga DVD. After reading all the reviews the one I have linked here seems to be the best. So, if anyone is feeling generous >.< I would gladly receive and use this. It feels SO tacky to ask... however I believe the sooner I start it the better, fitness and anxiety wise.  

For that matter, beyond the yoga DVD, I am open to other suggestions to help with my anxiety while pregnant as the one medication that helps with anxiety is class D, which means it very well may harm the baby. I am stuck with using Benedryl when I panic now. Ish, that stuff knocks me out.

I think I am too tired to sleep!

Spending 6 hours a day in my new therapy is paying off. My anxiety is greatly reduced. However that is 6 hours I can't nap for and apparently when I get home it takes me too long to get a reasonably times nap. I asked about adding naps into therapy, but they didn't think insurance would go for it. :p

Then again, it's been a roller coaster over the past few days. I went into the ER with some cramping in my "lower right quadrant" causing them to do an U/S and subsequent blood tests. Initially they were worried I was losing the pregnancy and they're still concerned it might be an ectopic... however the lack of cramping at this point seems to make that less of a concern as well. My beta hCG levels have been good and I should have another U/S next week to rule out an ectopic pregnancy, but what a scary thing to go through.

With that said, however, I know without a doubt, despite this being a "surprise" baby, I don't want to lose it. So I am hoping for a smoother ride from here on out. I did crochet 3 scarves over the last 3 days trying to keep my mind of it though, which is great. I am that much closer to having a decent amount to donate. :)

Blah! Anxiety sucks!

I am trying so hard to get off of the Klonopin that I am on. The one med that has been effective in treating my anxiety off and on for years... but there is apparently no "safe" alternative. To top it off, I can't just stop taking the Klonopin as it apparently has some very wicked withdrawal side effects.

It's SO frustrating. However today at therapy they invited me to try a new program also through Mercy. It's called the partial program and it's significantly more intense than the therapy I am getting now, as well as allowing me the ability to see a Psychiatrist daily rather than waiting months to get in to one. I am hoping that would help with med changes as I've had to depend on only myself so far with tapering off the other meds.

I effing hate anxiety, agoraphobia and depression. They suck. :(

What to do today?

Yesterday I sat home all day, couldn't nap even though I was wiped out. I don't remember any other pregnancy making me quite so tired! Also, I know I showed really early with Emma... but last night I looked in the mirror and I think if I saw me and didn't know me, I'd think I was 6 months along already. I wouldn't mind it, but then people never believe how far along I really am and blah.

I think the pregnancy hormones are making me cranky or something... the last couple of times I came to post I ended up venting.

Guess I'll just crochet, catch up on Sons of Anarchy and sit here some more. Maybe I'll get less hormonal. It might help if I could get these damn Nicotine patches to light when I rub them. It's just not the same as smoking. Maybe if I roll them up and light them... :p

Back to normal

Sort of. I have therapy this morning, and now that I've gotten the pregnancy announcement out of the way with everyone, I can settle into the idea myself. I do have to say I've been pleasantly surprised by the supportive responses I receive. I thought for sure people would pick on me for doing something "so stupid" when I am having issues all around myself. Then again, I have been working very hard at getting everything floating along even keel so to speak.

I started another blog, yeah, another one... lol this one is specifically for the baby and updates or news or... random baby-ness. If you'd like to check it out it's http://minetohold.blogspot.com/ there is only one post there as of now, but I have a bit more to post and as I go to appointments and such I should have even more to post. It's similar to the blog I did with EmmaLeigh's pregnancy for long distance family, but this is more like a pregnancy journal. So, check it out if you'd like. :)

Later today I am going to go watch Miss Emma walk in the Anoka Halloween Parade with her school. She is so excited that I can't wait lol. My mom will be coming down as well, she walked in the parade when she was in school in Anoka so she's very excited to see the current youngest grandchild doing the same. I'm glad she's coming, little miss is pleased too. (Thanks mom!)

That's it for now I think, have a wonderful day! I have the best readers. <3