Blah! Anxiety sucks!

I am trying so hard to get off of the Klonopin that I am on. The one med that has been effective in treating my anxiety off and on for years... but there is apparently no "safe" alternative. To top it off, I can't just stop taking the Klonopin as it apparently has some very wicked withdrawal side effects.

It's SO frustrating. However today at therapy they invited me to try a new program also through Mercy. It's called the partial program and it's significantly more intense than the therapy I am getting now, as well as allowing me the ability to see a Psychiatrist daily rather than waiting months to get in to one. I am hoping that would help with med changes as I've had to depend on only myself so far with tapering off the other meds.

I effing hate anxiety, agoraphobia and depression. They suck. :(

I guess this is kind of nuts

I was just talking to Jen on facebook, talking about most of my meds and crap and decided to take a pic. I am 33 and the amount of scripts I have looks like I'm 55...

Anyhow, here's the pic.

My med box... yikes.

9 Are prescribed meds, not including the two I forgot in the bathroom lol. The other two are essential daily supplements.

It's hard to blog from the hospital

Between my anxiety and finding out I have another fantastic chronic condition... I seem to have hit the jackpot of crappy things that can happen to your body. I was admitted Wednesday afternoon, after therapy of course, and spent the bulk of my two and a half days waiting for specialists to come and run tests on me. Then, Friday night after I had finally seen the last specialist, I got a whole bunch of new prescriptions to come home and take. BLAH! I guess if they might help, it could be good. Notice I haven't listed the jackpot of crappy things? To be honest, I don't think I am ready to make the list yet. It's like, I don't know, I need time to come to terms with them myself. Of course none of them are life threatening, so no worries there, they're just life-long.

Oh and to make things even better for me, while I was in the hospital they had me in the "Behavioral Health" floor, which means what I could and couldn't have for "creature comforts" was very limited and I got a ton of extra therapy sessions via attending groups to keep my "Level green" clearance... meaning I wasn't a risk for harming myself or others and I could leave the locked unit for walks outside and such. Not that the level green made things much better, I am still upset with being on one floor because of an issue I really didn't go to address. I don't know why simply having anxiety made me stay on that floor rather than being on any other medical floor. I guess I just have to look at the bonuses of extra therapy to help with my anxiety and of course a psychiatrist to review my anxiety meds. It's always reassuring when they think you're on the right ones and don't change a thing. Oh and being in the sanest of the "wards" at a level 1 out of 3. Level 3, I am told, is a bit scary... that is where Jesus lives... according to the guy who insists he is Jesus.

So yeah, that was my last few days, sorry I was so quiet, I wasn't even allowed my cellphone, so that meant no blogging, hell, no anything.

Oh and before I forget, I did come home to find that Phenson had been in and out of storage like a busy bee. He got quite a bit of stuff moved over to the apartment as well as going through all the hastily packed boxes and reorganizing what is in storage for easier transport when we have more gas. I am extremely grateful for that.

I think that's about it for this post. No pics or anything too fun. Just a crappy update about life in general I think.

Chilling at the Medical Hotel with P

P is in the hospital, although he would prefer I not post how, why or for how long. There are certain maggots  bitches c*n^s others he'd rather not have this info. If you're not one of those that he doesn't care for, you can contact me and I'll give you the who, what, where, why and how.

He should be alright, we'll know more tomorrow, he's young and healthy though, so he should be able to handle anything this trows at him. Please feel free to keep general well wishes for him in your thoughts, prayers or however you wish well.

Thanks!

Sorry I don't have anything much else to post, I've been at the hospital since 10am, he wasn't admitted until 3pm and it's been kind of a rush since.

<3 my readers though! Thanks for caring!