5 days with no blog post...

I think that might be a record for me.

I guess a lot has happened over the last two weeks. The most recent being a surprise trip to Mercy in the middle of the night for what I now know were "PVCs" which stands for premature ventricular contraction... which overall means irregular heartbeat or heart palpitations. No matter what you call it, it's scary as shit! It's also apparently not terribly dangerous and requires no medications at this point. I spent 4 - 5 hours in the ER at Mercy on the 20th for this. They drew all sorts of blood, gave me an IV, took x-rays and then sent me on my way. In total the PVCs lasted roughly 6 hours, start to finish, and were still going on when I was discharged. I told the doctor that if I woke up dead I was so going to sue him. Lucky for him I didn't wake up dead.

Of course, with all my anxiety, the PVCs chased me back into some sort of agoraphobic state. I was quite happy not leaving my home, I even missed not one, but two sessions of therapy because of this. Not good, considering how hard I've been working to get past the anxiety and agoraphobia. I am making myself attend on Monday, without fail. I need it, there isn't much else to that.

Oh, what else. Oh, Amanda came over on... Friday so I guess that's the 22nd and dragged me all over Anoka and Coon Rapids. Granted the trip required at least 6 or 7 Klonopin over the day/night I did it. I owe her for that, even that one successful trip, as hard as it might have been, is a step in the right direction and she knew it. She did great with it and I think overall, so did I.

Oh, another good thing, the kids went with my mom yesterday and participated in the feed my starving children program. They all did wonderfully, we're all very proud of them. Even little Emma stretched as far as she could (which was just enough) to serve the rice. She's 6 and did this for an hour straight! Oh and despite his initial qualms Blake, now 11, agreed to wear a hair net, it might have been over head entire head, at least initially, but he did it. I am very very proud of my mom and my children. Feeding those in need is such a wonderful thing to do, very fulfilling in so many ways, for them and for those they helped. So HUGE props to them all for that. In addition, my mom said it went so well and all 4 children felt so good about it, that they plan to make recurring monthly trips. I am very proud.